Copyright 2000 -- Robert Baer Jr. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Rerun Rovers -- Part 1" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe is the property of Warner Bros. 'Batman' characters, names, situations and the 'Batman' universe is the property of Warner Bros. Dukes of Hazzard characters, names, situation and the 'Dukes of Hazzard' universe are the property of Warner Brothers and Lorimar Productions. 'Family Feud' is the property of Mark Goodson/Bill Toddman productions. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros., Lorimar Productions or Goodman/Toddman Productions in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Ben Maddog, Princess, Amos Doggie, Hannah, Molly Maddog, Gila Monster and all of the characters of the Lost Pack are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. DJ is a creation of Jake Williams. Convoy is a creation of Matt Daily, Mystic McLab and Misty Maddog are creations of Bart Walls, Cobber is a creation of Mike Browner. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Rerun Rovers -- Part 1" The scene is a remote abandoned oil field in northern Oklahoma. A Jet Rover lands on one end of the field. Hunter, Blitz, Exile, Shag, Colleen, Convoy, Cobber and DJ walk out of it and begin to look around. HUNTER (looks around): That's strange! The Master distinctly called us and told us to land here! But why? COLLEEN (shakes head): There's absobloominlutly nothing here! EXILE (looks around): Bolshoi! The Master, he may have bellfries in his bats! HUNTER (rolls eyes): Er....well...sort of... SHAG (looks around): Ruh Ruh Rurger! HUNTER (shakes head): No Shag, there's no Chunky Lunky Burger restraunt here BLITZ (upset): No enemy tooshies to bite! EXILE (shakes head): Don't be a weird boy! DJ (nods): That's like telling the sun not to shine! COBBER (nods): Ain't that the truth! CONVOY (points): Look over there! Suddenly, the Rovers see a motorcycle churning up dust along the other end of the oil field. Soon, the motorcycle comes to a stop and the rider removes her helmet. CONVOY (confused): Molly Maddog? What are you doing here? MOLLY (shakes head): I have no idea, Convoy! I was out on the desert test driving this new motorcycle when all of sudden I ended up here, whereever here is! HUNTER (sternly): Something weird is going on! As Hunter finishes speaking, a loud BOOM!!! shakes the ground, Ben and Misty Maddog appear, along with Princess, Amos Doggie, Hannah and the Gila Monster. Ben runs over to Hunter. BEN (panting): We got here as fast as we could, what's the emergency? HUNTER (confused): Emergency? BEN (shouting): Yeah! We all received an call from you on the radio, so we immediately came! GILA MONSTER (swinging his 2 x 4): Yeah! I wants to clobber bad guys! COLLEEN (shocked): Blimey! We didn't send any emergency message! HANNAH (defensive): But I heard you! I heard you with my own super hearing! AMOS (confused): What be goin' on here? Amos not understand! HUNTER (nods): Neither do the rest of us! HANNAH (ears perk up): I hear another vehicle approaching! (points): In THAT direction! Soon, a beat up van comes racing across the oil field and comes to a stop a few yards from where the other Rovers are standing. Out of the van comes ten very familiar looking cano-sapiens. It's Ultra, Dreadnaught, Rico, Tungstun, King, Dizzy, Spike, Judy, Lady and Monica. BEN (growls): The Lost Pack! ROGER (growls): What are those clowns doing here? HUNTER (yells out): Hey Ultra! How's it waggin'? ULTRA (yells back): What are YOU doing here? HUNTER (yells out): We were told to come here! ULTRA (yells back): So were we! Some black labrador with green gloves and ..... HUNTER (shocked): Oh NO! (turns to the Rovers): It's a trap! We gotta leave! Suddenly, a bright flash of light appears in the sky and a very familiar looking black labrador is dressed up like a movie director. HUNTER (growls): Mystic McLab! Not YOU again! ULTRA (looks up): So THERE you are, Mystic! When do me and my gang get the gold you promised? MYSTIC (laughing): All in good time, my egotistical canine! COBBER (points): What are you doin' here? MYSTIC (laughs): I got tired of teasing the Space Rovers so I decided to come back to Earth for a while... DJ (points): You mean they defeated you too many times so you came back.... MYSTIC (angry): SILENCE, FOOL! I've decided to entertain myself with a little classic television! AMOS (happy): Dat be good! Den we can go now? MYSTIC (shakes head): Not exactly, old cogger! You see, all of YOU are going to be MY entertainment! DREADNAUGHT (lovingly): WOW!! What a babe! I'd kiss you anytime! Vat a hot mama! Dreadnaught runs over to where Mystic is floating only to collide with an invisible barrier. MYSTIC (shakes head): Don't flatter yourself, you pathetic piece of dog molecules! I have gathered all of you here for a purpose! BEHOLD!!!! Mystic waves her arms and the entire group disappears. Suddenly, DJ, Convoy, Molly and Amos find themselves along a dirt road. DJ (looks at Convoy): Hey Convoy (points) Is THAT what I think it is? CONVOY (look at DJ): Yeah, it looks like... the General Lee! I'd know that car anywhere! MOLLY (confused): The General Lee? This looks like a scene from the Dukes of Hazzard! But how can that be? Mystic appears above them, dressed like Daisy Duke. MYSTIC (laughs): You got it, Molly! Welcome to Hazzard County! Msytic waves her arms and now DJ is dressed like Bo Duke, Convoy is dressed like Luke Duke and Molly is dressed like Daisy Duke. MYSTIC (points at Amos): No costume change for YOU! With those overall and flannel shirt, you ALREADLY look like Uncle Jessie! AMOS (happy): I tank ye, ma'am! DJ (angry): Ok Mystic, the joke's over! Change us back to ... MYSTIC (laughs): Not so fast, Deej! You see, you four are now part of an actual Dukes of Hazzard episode! And you better follow the scrpit, because if you don't, I'll cancel this program... AND ALL OF YOU WITH IT!!! CONVOY (angry): This is ridiclous! Just why should we go through with this crazy idea? MYSTIC (smiles): Because I haven't told you the plot yet! You see, Miss Tysdale witnessed a bank robbery, and now the robbers have kidnapped her! If you don't find her..... MOLLY (shakes head): So, we have to save the old postmistress of Hazzard County from harm? Give me a break! MYSTIC (laughs): Perhaps THIS will inspire you! Mystic opens a portal, inside the portal the four sees Hannah (dressed like Miss Tysdale) all tied up and gagged, surrounded by Tungstun and Spike. AMOS (panics): Dat's me woman! Dat's Hannah! Gotta save her! Where is she? MYSTIC (laughs): That's what you four better find out in a hurry! (puts a hand to her ear) What's that I heard? Must be the sheriff coming to arrest YOU guys! They think YOU robbed that bank! DJ (angry): Looks like we have no choice, we have to play along! MYSTIC (sternly): And you better hurry! Who knows what those bank robbers may do next? (turns to Molly): Oh, and Molly.. (holding her collar): I'm keeping this with me, no technical hocus pocus from you now! CHOW!!! As Mystic disappears, DJ and Convoy look at each other and nod. MOLLY (screams): GIVE ME BACK MY COLLAR!!! !U CONVOY (shouts): Ok! DJ and I will take the General! Molly, you and Amos take the white jeep parked beside it! MOLLY (sternly): That's Dixie! Daisy Duke's ride! (smiles) This may not be so bad after all! DJ (nods): We'll stay in contact with the CB's, like the real Dukes did! Let's go! DJ and Convoy hop into the General, Amos and Molly jump into Dixie and take off, soon two patrol cars follow close behind them. Meanwhile Hunter, Colleen, Blitz, Shag and Exile find themselves in a television studio waiting room. COLLEEN (looks around): Blimey! Where in the heck are we? HUNTER (points at sign on the wall): Look at this! This sign says,"Family Feud Contestant Lounge!" EXILE (hold up newspaper): Look Comrades! Dis newspaper is dated January seven, 1975! Shag and Blitz whimper, then they hide under the couch as the door opens. Mystic McLab steps in, dressed in a dark blue dress with a clipboard in her hand. MYSTIC (giggles): Ok, Rover family, follow me out to the stage! HUNTER (shocked): Rover family? COLLEEN (startled): What are you talkin' about? MYSTIC (sternly): I'll spell it out for you! You five are going to play the TV game show Family Feud! If you win, I'll let you go! If you lose .... well .. let's just say you better not lose! EXILE (angry): Nyet! I won't play silly game! MYSTIC (shouts): Did I sound like I was ASKING you to play? I'm TELLING you you're going to play! Mystic snaps her fingers, suddenly the five Rovers find themselves standing behind a long contestant podium marked 'Rover'. They look around the studio and see an identical podium marked 'Lost'. Behind that podium, lined up and dressed in casual clothing like they are, they see King, Lady, Dreadnaught, Monica and Rico. HUNTER (shocked): I don't believe this! We're playing in a TV Game Show against the Lost Pack? Ok.. I'm outta here! MYSTIC (appears floating over them): You leave and you die! It's that simple! KING (shouting): Hey Mystic! What's this all about? MYSTIC (points): Play along, and if you beat these Rovers in this game, I'll not only give you each a sack of gold, I'll give you these Rovers to do with as you please! DREADNAUGHT (jumping up and down): OH BOY!! OH BOY!!! I GET COLLEEN!!! MYSTIC (slaps Dreadnaught): Not so fast, Don Juan! FIRST you gotta win this game! That's the deal! Got it? KING (nods): We understand! We'll do ANYTHING to get our hands around some goodie goodie Road Rovers! MYSTIC (happy): That's the spirit! Oh, and Road Rovers. I've erected a force field all around this stage, just in case you had thoughts of escaping! Excuse me now, I have one more show to start! As Mystic disappears, Richard Dawson appears from backstage and stands behind the center podium. VOICE (over PA system): One minutes to air time! Places everyone! HUNTER (rolls eyes): I would not have predicted this .... In the backdrop of what looks like a major city, Ben Maddog, Cobber and Misty Maddog find themselves on a sidewalk. It is night, soon, a figure in a trenchcoat walks into the light of a street lamp. DEEP VOICE (booming): This is the city, Gotham City, a city filled with wonder, beauty and great danger. One hero watches over this city, protecting it from evil supervillains.. and that one hero is ... WONDER WOMAN!!!! The figure in the lamplight throws off the trenchcoat, revealing that's it's really Mystic McLab in a Wonder Woman costume! MSYTIC (points and laughs): Fooled you, didn't I? BEN (angry): Mystic, this little game of yours has gone on long enough! COBBER (angry): Have you gone daft? MISTY (growls): Why did you bring us here? MYSTIC (laughing, singing): Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na -- BATMAN!!!! The instant she says the word, Ben finds himself dressed like Batman, Cobber like Robin and Misty like Batgirl. BEN (shocked): What is this? COBBER (startled): This is really bloody cute! I'm the blinkin' boy wonder! MISTY (excited): YEAH!!! I'M BATGIRL!!! BEN (sternly): Misty, this is no laughing matter... MYSTIC (laughs): Better listen to doggie daddy, Misty! (points) Look! Up in the sky! It's the Bat Signal! Commissioner Gordon wants to see you! BEN (shakes head): We're not going to play this stupid game ... hey! MYSTIC (holds up two collars in her hands): Looking for these? MISTY (upset): HEY! My collar! MYSTIC (nods): Right again, little girl! They'll be no teleportation or any other of Buford's tricks in MY episode! COBBER (growls): Mystic! What's the bloody idea? MYSTIC (laughs): I'll spell it out for you three duds! The Joker, Egghead and Catwoman have kidnapped a Princess and are holding her for a king's ransom! Your job is to find her, or else she'll be at the mercy of those three criminals! BEN (growls): That does it! We're not playing your little game anymore! MYSTIC (smirks): Oh NO? You better take a look at this newspaper then! Suddenly, a newspaper appears in Ben's hands, he sees the front page story. BEN (reading aloud): Princess Carabo is missing and ..... COBBER (points): Cricky! It's Princess! OUR Princess! MISTY (points): And look at this story! The Joker, Egghead and Catwoman have escaped from Acrum prison! They even have pictures of them! BEN (gapes): It's Ultra, Dizzy and Judy! MYSTIC (laughs): That's right, Batman! And if you three don't hurry up and save Princess..... COBBER (nods): We get the idea, mate! MYSTIC (points): You'll find the Batmobile and the Batgirl cycle parked around the corner, you better hurry and get to the commissioner's office! BEN (shakes head): We have no choice. We have to play along in order to save Princess! MISTY (happy): Oh goody! I get to drive a motorcycle! COBBER (sternly): This is no game, Misty! Mystic is dead serious! BEN (shouts): TO THE BATMOBILE!! MYSTIC (chuckles): That's the spirit, BATMAN!!! Ben and Cobber get into the Batmobile, Misty hops onto the Bat cycle and drive towards city hall. MYSTIC (laughing): This is just TOO MUCH FUN!!! I can hardly wait for the action to start! Mystic disappears in a flash of light. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ to be continued....